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Premarital Counseling in Chicago
Meet Our Premarital Counselors
Exploring marriage and want to set your relationship up for success?
Would you like to make sure you and your partner are on the same page before making a bigger commitment?
Do you have questions about your long-term compatibility?
Are you interested in having tools to prepare you for successful communication?
Would you like to collaborate on the vision for your relationship with your partner?
You may be excited about the possibilities for your future with your partner, and want to make sure you’ve had the space to talk about all the important stuff before committing to a future together.
What is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is a form of proactive couples therapy that’s done in prior to getting married. It helps to set the framework for longer term relationship success. Long-term relationships often require a different mindset than shorter-term relationships. As such, it can be helpful to build foundation early in a long term relationship so that the relationship can thrive and be enjoyable for many years to come!
Common Issues Addressed in Premarital Counseling Sessions
Expectations and roles - It’s helpful for each person to have a space to verbalize how they envision different roles will play out. The couple can discover if their role expectations are in alignment with their partner, and adjustments can be made based on this process.
Communication skills - What relationship wouldn’t benefit from learning and using some new ways of communicating and having them handy to work through communication issues more effectively? Premarital counselors come equipped with ways to help you talk with your partner in a way that’s safe for both of you in a session. You can then practice the skills at home, too.
Money and financial management - Did you know that money causes more conflict and tension for couples than sex? Money and financial planning is a great topic to review in premarital counseling, so that you’re both comfortable talking about money and can create some parameters around how you might handle it once married.
Life goals and values - This is one of the main areas of concern and interest for those seeking premarital counseling. The couple often want to know “is my partner on the same page as me for our future?” and “can we grow together over time?”
Intimacy and sexual connection - Second to money, sex and intimacy is a hot topic that can be beneficial to review prior to marriage. If there’s any discrepancy in sexual needs or interest, premarital counseling is a great time to explore what a satisfying long term sexual connection could look like for both parties.
Family planning - This is another big one. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner explore what, if any, family expansion might look like for you over time.
Blending families - If one or both of you have children from a previous relationship, premarital counseling can help you determine roles, boundaries, and arrangements that are satisfying to everyone involved.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
A few of the benefits of doing therapy as a couple prior to marriage include:
Strengthening the relationship before the commitment of marriage
Smoother wedding planning where you can come together as a team to make decisions.
Enhancing communication skills by building on what is already working and teaching you some new tricks to better understand each other and feel understood.
Establishing a solid foundation for higher marital satisfaction and greater intimacy in your relationship.
Giving you skills to navigate conflict when it inevitably arises, ensuring you can work through things as a team for the long term.
Counseling Services and Approaches
All of our premarital counselors approach sessions with a focus on helping the relationship thrive. Many of our counselors are trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, and utilize the Imago Dialogue to facilitate safe and fruitful communication between the couple. Some of our premarital counselors have additional training in Gottman and Emotion Focused Therapy methods which can be tied into sessions. Within these modalities that we may incorporate into sessions, we can help you focus on the areas in your relationship that you’d most like to collaborate on and improve.
Premarital Counseling Process
We’ll start out by getting to know your relationship history, and what areas you might want to focus on in premarital counseling. We’ll likely bring tools and activities into premarital counseling sessions to help you explore your relationship goals and vision. Our Imago therapists will teach you something called the Imago Dialogue where you’ll learn to talk to and listen to your partner in a new way. You can discuss anything that you’d like during an Imago Dialogue as well as use it outside of sessions.
Getting Started
We really enjoy helping relationships get off to a great start before marriage! Even if you’re not considering marriage yet, but want to work on your relationship in a more proactive way, we’re here to help. You can book an appointment online, below, or, if you’d like a little bit more guidance, you can complete a matchmaking form and we’ll match you with a premarital counselor that closely meets what you’re looking for.
Premarital Counseling Blog Posts
Premarital Counseling FAQs
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Premarital counseling is a type proactive or preventative couples therapy that a couple can engage in prior to getting married. Premarital counseling can focus on building a shared vision for a long term relationship, and learning skills to navigate communication challenges and conflict along the way.
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Marriage is a big decision to make! People in a relationship might seek premarital counseling to determine if marriage is right for them, or to solidify compatibility of their long term visions for the relationship. All relationships involve conflict, and premarital counseling can ensure that you've got the skills to navigate conflict when it arises.
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Premarital counseling at Balanced Awakening is usually shorter-term, meaning that couples considering or planning for marriage usually get the framework they need in just a few months of weekly or biweekly sessions. You can expect to have a good foundation after 6-8 sessions, but can choose to have more if it's helpful!
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During a premarital counseling session at Balanced Awakening, we’ll make sure we’re meeting with you when both of the partners in the relationship are present. If you are working with one of our premarital counselors who is trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, your counselor will teach you and your partner how to talk to each other safely in session, and facilitate conversations you may be struggling to have with each other at home. If your therapist is Gottman or EFT trained, you will spend some time in sessions building communication skills and working on how both of you can feel your best together.
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If you’re interested, give it a try! There’s really no situation where it’s a wrong fit if both people in the relationship have some interest in improving the relationship and exploring the long term potential and vision for the relationship.
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Like any therapy session, premarital counseling sessions are confidential, meaning what is shared stays with the people who are present in the room (people in the relationship and the counselor). There are situations where as counselors we are ethically obligated to break confidentiality, such as if we learn of any child or elder abuse during a session, but this is rare.
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All of our counselors who work with couples at Balanced Awakening have extensive training in therapy and mental health. Our premarital counselors are either trained in the Gottman Method or Imago Relationship Therapy. Some of our premarital counselors have attended 12 days of Imago Relationship Therapy training and a few are fully certified in Imago.
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Our premarital counseling rate for the first two 55 minute intake sessions is $245 and subsequent sessions are $220. We accept BCBS PPO and Aetna insurance.
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Yes, we offer both in person and virtual premarital counseling sessions. Sometimes it’s difficult for couples to get into the office, so virtual sessions are an option!