Blog
Creating Meaningful Habits: An Antidote to the New Year’s Resolution
How many of us on January 1st have set a New Year’s resolution along the lines of “I will meditate every day!” or “I will start an exercise routine”? At around the one month mark, many of us fall short of meeting these vague and sometimes arbitrary goals. This often sets off unhelpful self-talk such as “what’s the point” or “I can’t do anything right,” perhaps leading us to abandon our resolutions altogether. We might also fall into the oh-so-familiar trap of self-comparison when others seem to be succeeding with their goals.
Values: Why they are important and how to identify them.
Life can feel confusing when you are unsure of what's important to you. Perhaps you've taken on values of your family, society, or religion without realizing it and are feeling stuck. Values are directions that you want to go in life. They are unique to the person, so your values are likely a bit or maybe a lot different from my values or from your loved ones' values. As humans, we can easily get on autopilot and fail to take the time to ask ourselves "am I living a valued life?" And by that I mean a life consistent with your values! We often feel the most at peace with ourselves and with our lives when we are living according to our values.
Coping: Post-Election Conversations with Family
While the election has been called, the stressors of Election Day (more like an Election Week this year) and the current political and social climate are still impacting many people across the country. We have also entered a holiday season that will look very different from past holidays due to the ongoing pandemic. Whether gathering in-person or virtually, the election (and politics) are likely to come up during holiday gatherings, so how do we handle these conversations when our families may hold very different views?
What is mindfulness? And how can it help me?
Mindfulness has become a popular word, used in several contexts. Often when I ask people if they have ever heard of mindfulness, they will refer to being told to "be mindful" of their actions or behavior. I'd like to write about mindfulness in a basic context, stripping away the idea that there is a "right action." I find it most helpful to think of mindfulness as paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment, without judgement. So let's break that down further:
Understanding Anxiety as a Messenger
Did you know that anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in the United States? The past year prevalence rates for anxiety disorders are higher for women (23.4%) than men (14.3%). (1, footnote.) If you were drawn to this post due to your own anxiety, I hope you pause with the weight of this statistic and understand that you are not alone. My hope for you is that after reading this post you come to find a different way to relate to your symptoms and experience of anxiety.
Seasonal Self-Care
As daylight savings time ends and the weather grows colder, you might find your mood changing and your motivation waning. Here are a few tips that might be helpful as you prepare for the change of seasons and the upcoming holidays:
Election Mental Health Preparedness
A hot topic in my sessions lately has naturally been the election. Regardless of political view or level of passion/apathy, there's a wide range of stress that has been slowly building.
Many of you might be managing well enough, some of you perhaps not so much. I knew I wasn't prepared when I watched the first debate, turned it off half way through because I couldn't stand it, and had a nightmare that night.
Quiet your inner critic with self compassion
If you’re like most women I know and work with you’re way more critical of yourself than you are towards other people. We have a harsh voice running in our minds all day long: “why did I say that?” … “I really should lose weight” … “I’m so stupid and can’t do anything right”.
Instead of judging yourself, try self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as having the same kindness and understanding towards yourself that you have towards others when they are having a difficult time.
Mindfulness in Everyday Life
How many times have you gone through your day on automatic pilot - and then wondered where the day went? This happens to everyone in many ways. Maybe you had a conversation with a friend and realized you didn't even know what they had just said to you because your mind was somewhere else. You might have been driving and suddenly noticed that you missed your exit because you had been so caught up in your thoughts.
My favorite meditation book for women. And a meditation exercise to get you out of your head!
Playful and sensual - not words that you'd typically associate with meditation! But Camille Maurine and Lorin Roche, Ph.D. opened my eyes to different, more sensory and flexible ways to meditate and enjoy it. Meditation Secrets for Women is full of accessible meditations and practical ideas about how to incorporate meditation and a meditative state of mind into your daily life.
How does exercise fit with your values? The first step to committing to fitness.
HOW DOES EXERCISE FIT WITH YOUR VALUES?
If you are striving to make exercise and fitness a part of your lifestyle, you will certainly want to read this post about values and exercise! Connecting to your values and how they are intertwined with your fitness routine or goals will make it much easier to stick with fitness and all that fitness means in your life.
Mindfulness of Emotions Meditation
Want a new skill to practice that will help you feel less overwhelmed by your emotions? Try this mindfulness of emotion meditation. It's one way to practice making some room for unwanted emotions. When you allow difficult emotions to be present, they have less control over your behavior. The purpose of this practice is give you space to slow down and observe your inner experience. Emotions can be the scariest when you become focused on running away from them. In this exercise, you have the opportunity to practice doing the opposite. Over time, with continued practice, emotions or fear of emotions no longer have to drive your life!