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Uprooting Imposter Syndrome
Chronic feelings of inadequacy, fear of being “found out” as a fraud, difficulty using your voice, all despite tangible success and positive feedback. Does this sound familiar to you? This pattern of experiences and feelings is often referred to as imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon. Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, PhD and Suzanne Imes, PhD, imposter syndrome was described as an internal experience of self-doubt plaguing high-achieving women (1, footnote). The scholarship on imposter syndrome has evolved significantly over the years, resulting in helpful critiques, tips, and guidance. Below I’ll review some insights that can help those of us who experience imposter syndrome uproot these feelings and ground ourselves in critical consciousness, compassion, and confidence.
Grounding in Light Meditation
Looking for a new way to practice mindfulness and feel more grounded? I love this "grounding in light" meditation written by Nancy Napier and found in her book "Sacred Practices for Conscious Living." If you're just starting out with mindfulness meditation, you can read more about mindfulness in an earlier post. You may also want to give mindfulness of breathing a try before you engage in this meditation.
What gets you stuck? And what you can do about it.
We all get stuck sometimes, feeling as though we are not being the person we would like to be. Or maybe we're not making the changes we would like to make. Sometimes we get hung up on "sticky" thoughts such as "I'll never be good enough" or "I'm a terrible partner." Thoughts can have a velcro quality - once they are introduced they get stuck and it's difficult to separate from them. Then, the more we try to get rid of them or make them go away, the more they seem to return, causing us increased distress. Emotions can be the same way - if it's completely unacceptable for you to feel anxiety or nervousness, guess what, I bet you feel quite anxious! But, we don't need to overthink this : ). Here are some ideas to help you get unstuck:
What is mindfulness? And how can it help me?
Mindfulness has become a popular word, used in several contexts. Often when I ask people if they have ever heard of mindfulness, they will refer to being told to "be mindful" of their actions or behavior. I'd like to write about mindfulness in a basic context, stripping away the idea that there is a "right action." I find it most helpful to think of mindfulness as paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment, without judgement. So let's break that down further:
Mindfulness in Everyday Life
How many times have you gone through your day on automatic pilot - and then wondered where the day went? This happens to everyone in many ways. Maybe you had a conversation with a friend and realized you didn't even know what they had just said to you because your mind was somewhere else. You might have been driving and suddenly noticed that you missed your exit because you had been so caught up in your thoughts.
My favorite meditation book for women. And a meditation exercise to get you out of your head!
Playful and sensual - not words that you'd typically associate with meditation! But Camille Maurine and Lorin Roche, Ph.D. opened my eyes to different, more sensory and flexible ways to meditate and enjoy it. Meditation Secrets for Women is full of accessible meditations and practical ideas about how to incorporate meditation and a meditative state of mind into your daily life.
Mindfulness of Emotions Meditation
Want a new skill to practice that will help you feel less overwhelmed by your emotions? Try this mindfulness of emotion meditation. It's one way to practice making some room for unwanted emotions. When you allow difficult emotions to be present, they have less control over your behavior. The purpose of this practice is give you space to slow down and observe your inner experience. Emotions can be the scariest when you become focused on running away from them. In this exercise, you have the opportunity to practice doing the opposite. Over time, with continued practice, emotions or fear of emotions no longer have to drive your life!
Grief: An experience more common than you may think.
Usually when we think of grief, we think of death. And we tend to think narrowly and consider grief only in cases when a human that we love dies. But grief can be an experience, a process, that happens in a broad range of circumstances. For example, death or loss of a pet, an identity, a job, an idea or a vision are all experiences where grief may surface. When coming into our own identity and following our values, we may experience grief around how our needs were not met in the past. We may even feel the most grief when life is good and we feel loved - grief over what we missed out on before in our lives.
Mindfully eat chocolate. An exercise in mindful enjoyment.
As a follow-up to a previous post on the basics of mindful eating, I'm sharing a mindful chocolate meditation. Chocolate tends to bring up strong associations and sometimes strong emotions and/or cravings for individuals. What do you think of when you hear the world "chocolate" or are reminded of chocolate? How does it make you feel to eat chocolate? Chocolate may be associated with pleasant events or pleasant feelings. Or it may be associated with guilt, overeating, and overindulging. Perhaps it can bring up both for you.
The willingness to crave. TED talk by Jonathan Bricker.
I have followed and modeled some of my own work on Jonathan Bricker's research on tobacco cessation. Dr. Bricker recently did a TED talk on "The willingness to crave" which illustrates how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is an effective intervention for quitting smoking and tobacco use. This also applies to food cravings! I wanted to share this here, as I think he does an excellent job demonstrating what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy looks like in the context of addictions and cravings.
What is mindful eating? An adaptive way to manage the modern food environment.
It's the holiday season and food is everywhere! How does one navigate the modern food environment without gaining weight? This is a tough question to answer, as we have evolved in an environment where food was scarce. In order to survive, it was best to eat anything and everything available. Our world has evolved too quickly for us to keep up - in terms of keeping our bodies healthy. For many people in the developed world, food is too available given our biological predisposition. Food is also designed to hit the "need more" and "want more" triggers, as it's particularly sweet and fatty - good things for beefing up before the next food shortage.
Love yourself first, then you can love others better. Loving-kindness meditation.
We often find it difficult to love ourselves first. Why is that? Perhaps we got the message from a young age that putting our needs first, or even loving ourselves, was selfish. And selfish is bad, so be sure to always consider others first. How has that internalized message been working of you? It's silly to fight with old standing beliefs we have about ourselves that no longer serve us. Instead, it's more helpful to acknowledge what is true and stick to it, even when it means redirecting yourself over and over again.