Blog
Grief: An experience more common than you may think.
Usually when we think of grief, we think of death. And we tend to think narrowly and consider grief only in cases when a human that we love dies. But grief can be an experience, a process, that happens in a broad range of circumstances. For example, death or loss of a pet, an identity, a job, an idea or a vision are all experiences where grief may surface. When coming into our own identity and following our values, we may experience grief around how our needs were not met in the past. We may even feel the most grief when life is good and we feel loved - grief over what we missed out on before in our lives.
Are you concerned about your anger? Learn how ACT can help.
Anger is a commonly experienced human emotion that can cause significant suffering and requires compassion on the healing journey. Sometimes anger presents differently for women - it may be internalized more and taken out on oneself. In my work as a psychologist, I’ve found that “ACT on life not on anger: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Problem Anger” provides a fantastic framework for understanding and healing anger. The book is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which, in a nutshell, guides healing through 1) acceptance of thoughts and feelings, 2) valued life directions, and 3) taking actions based on values.
Women's fertility. It's not just about biology.
Trying to get pregnant can be quite a stressful endeavor. Perhaps just thinking about the "ticking biological clock" raises your anxiety. Or maybe you've actively been taking steps to conceive and finding that the harder you try, the more distressed you feel and the more difficult it is to conceive. Due to advances in society, medicine, and culture, women are waiting longer to start growing their families. In many ways, waiting to start a family can be empowering and beneficial for a woman. However, society has also evolved faster than biology. There are real limitations on women's reproductive capacity that occur over time. But it may not be as black and white as you think...
Mindfully eat chocolate. An exercise in mindful enjoyment.
As a follow-up to a previous post on the basics of mindful eating, I'm sharing a mindful chocolate meditation. Chocolate tends to bring up strong associations and sometimes strong emotions and/or cravings for individuals. What do you think of when you hear the world "chocolate" or are reminded of chocolate? How does it make you feel to eat chocolate? Chocolate may be associated with pleasant events or pleasant feelings. Or it may be associated with guilt, overeating, and overindulging. Perhaps it can bring up both for you.
Review of “Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype”
"Women Who Run With the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a book I recommend to women at any point on their healing journey. Visit my full review published on allthingshealing.com, where I discuss how this book has impacted me professionally and personally.
Quitting smoking when you've had a trauma or suffer from PTSD: New research!
My colleagues and I just published a new pilot study on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Smoking Cessation in Veterans with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If you've been trying to quit smoking and you experience some symptoms related to trauma, you may be having a more difficult time quitting. In the Veteran population, Veterans with PTSD are 2-3 times more likely to smoke cigarettes or tobacco products than the general population. This tends to be true, as well, for the non-Veteran population among those who have PTSD or some trauma symptoms.
Mind, Body, Spirit. Yes, it's all connected.
Have you ever experienced pain or an illness that just wasn't going away with physical medical care? There are many scenarios I can think of here. Perhaps you have chronic migraines and your prescription medication just isn't working. Maybe you live a busy life and tend to get colds or the flu easily and are unsure why.
The willingness to crave. TED talk by Jonathan Bricker.
I have followed and modeled some of my own work on Jonathan Bricker's research on tobacco cessation. Dr. Bricker recently did a TED talk on "The willingness to crave" which illustrates how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is an effective intervention for quitting smoking and tobacco use. This also applies to food cravings! I wanted to share this here, as I think he does an excellent job demonstrating what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy looks like in the context of addictions and cravings.
What is mindful eating? An adaptive way to manage the modern food environment.
It's the holiday season and food is everywhere! How does one navigate the modern food environment without gaining weight? This is a tough question to answer, as we have evolved in an environment where food was scarce. In order to survive, it was best to eat anything and everything available. Our world has evolved too quickly for us to keep up - in terms of keeping our bodies healthy. For many people in the developed world, food is too available given our biological predisposition. Food is also designed to hit the "need more" and "want more" triggers, as it's particularly sweet and fatty - good things for beefing up before the next food shortage.
Love yourself first, then you can love others better. Loving-kindness meditation.
We often find it difficult to love ourselves first. Why is that? Perhaps we got the message from a young age that putting our needs first, or even loving ourselves, was selfish. And selfish is bad, so be sure to always consider others first. How has that internalized message been working of you? It's silly to fight with old standing beliefs we have about ourselves that no longer serve us. Instead, it's more helpful to acknowledge what is true and stick to it, even when it means redirecting yourself over and over again.
Mindfulness of Breathing
As promised in an earlier post on mindfulness and the benefits of regular mindfulness practice, I want to share with you a mindfulness of breathing exercise. For years I have been guiding clients through this and similar exercises.
Authenticity. What does it mean to live authentically?
Living authentically is my top priority as a human being and as a psychologist. It's also one of the most difficult things to do. When I think about living authentically, I consider the importance of being honest and truthful with ourselves and extending that to others. I think about standing up for oneself and one's needs. I think about connecting with others in a balanced way that complements instead of mutes our uniqueness. Authentic living is also guided by one's values - and living authentically is a chosen life direction or path. We always have a choice whether to take steps toward authentic living. So let's take a moment to look at what goes into living authentically.