Blog
Uprooting Imposter Syndrome
Chronic feelings of inadequacy, fear of being “found out” as a fraud, difficulty using your voice, all despite tangible success and positive feedback. Does this sound familiar to you? This pattern of experiences and feelings is often referred to as imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon. Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, PhD and Suzanne Imes, PhD, imposter syndrome was described as an internal experience of self-doubt plaguing high-achieving women (1, footnote). The scholarship on imposter syndrome has evolved significantly over the years, resulting in helpful critiques, tips, and guidance. Below I’ll review some insights that can help those of us who experience imposter syndrome uproot these feelings and ground ourselves in critical consciousness, compassion, and confidence.
How To Overcome The Challenges Of Productivity Culture
Do you ever feel that if you take the pressure off yourself to exceed expectations and complete all the tasks on your never-ending to-do list, you might lose the motivation to do anything at all? Have you ever wondered why there are countless memes and jokes about how people in the workforce (or those in school) are existing on caffeine or the saying, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” as a joking way of saying we don’t have time to rest? Have you ever felt lazy when taking time to rest after a difficult day or week? You might have even heard that people who utilize their vacation and sick days are less likely to receive a promotion because they “aren’t working hard enough.” These elements are products of a culture that praises productivity. But the heavy emphasis on the "you can do it all" mentality within our culture can often lead to burnout as it doesn’t honor our need to rest, recharge and reset in order to function at our best.
Ho’oponopono for Forgiveness and Healing
This is one of my favorite practices for healing and forgiveness!
Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian mantra or prayer that you can say to help bring forgiveness and healing to your life. To practice, say:
➡️ I’m sorry
➡️ Please forgive me
➡️ I love you
➡️ Thank you
Grounding in Light Meditation
Looking for a new way to practice mindfulness and feel more grounded? I love this "grounding in light" meditation written by Nancy Napier and found in her book "Sacred Practices for Conscious Living." If you're just starting out with mindfulness meditation, you can read more about mindfulness in an earlier post. You may also want to give mindfulness of breathing a try before you engage in this meditation.
Life After Lockdown: Post-Pandemic Anxiety
Over the course of this pandemic, anxiety has been a familiar feeling for many. But you may have noticed a recent shift in what exactly you’re feeling anxious about. Fears about exposure and infecting loved ones may now be coupled with anxieties about returning to the office, socializing, or even the thought of having to wear jeans again. Why is it that anxiety seems to be on the rise as cases of COVID-19 are on the decline?
With vaccinations rolling out and a sense that there is an end to the pandemic in sight, many things remain uncertain. Will our “new normal” look like our “old normal”? Will work-from-home arrangements remain or will we be forced to return to working in an office? Will variants of the virus lead to future lockdowns?
If you are noticing new or worsening anxiety related to the pandemic, here are a few tips and strategies for managing the unique challenges of life after lockdown:
Counting sheep and still can’t sleep? Practical tips for getting a good night's rest.
It is no mystery that Covid-19 has greatly affected many facets of our lives and for many of us, sleep is one of them. Researchers have begun to examine the impact of Covid-19 restrictions on sleep patterns as many of our routines have been disrupted. As compared to pre-pandemic sleep patterns, individuals have reported significant changes to sleep including later bedtime and wake time, reduced overall night-time sleep, increased napping, and overall poorer sleep quality (1, footnote). Other symptoms of poor sleep include difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep, waking up earlier than expected, and experiencing anxiety or worry about not sleeping. If any of these symptoms sound familiar to you, know that you are not alone and there is hope!
Boundaries. Why are they so important? And how can I protect my boundaries?
In the most basic sense, boundaries represent our personal space - including physical, emotional, energy, and time. As an independent, autonomous human being, you get to choose your boundaries and assert them.
Many people have trouble protecting their personal boundaries. Sometimes this is due to earlier life events, such as trauma, where boundaries were violated without acknowledgement of the violation. In such a case, a person usually has difficulty believing that their personal space is truly theirs.
Money as life energy: A mindful approach to money.
Money. The topic of much stress, avoidance, conflict, and sleep loss. Sound familiar? We spend far too little time talking about the role of money in our lives and creating a healthy relationship with our finances. As parents, we often spend too little time educating our children on the value of money. As educators, we fail to teach basic financial skills that are critical to our well-being as adults. Money is considered a taboo topic in our society, which further adds to avoidance and distress. And to some extent, after our survival needs and some comforts are met, it doesn't matter how much money we have or make.
What gets you stuck? And what you can do about it.
We all get stuck sometimes, feeling as though we are not being the person we would like to be. Or maybe we're not making the changes we would like to make. Sometimes we get hung up on "sticky" thoughts such as "I'll never be good enough" or "I'm a terrible partner." Thoughts can have a velcro quality - once they are introduced they get stuck and it's difficult to separate from them. Then, the more we try to get rid of them or make them go away, the more they seem to return, causing us increased distress. Emotions can be the same way - if it's completely unacceptable for you to feel anxiety or nervousness, guess what, I bet you feel quite anxious! But, we don't need to overthink this : ). Here are some ideas to help you get unstuck:
So, you want to talk about polyamory...
For some people, discovering that they want to be in a polyamorous relationship is a realization gained through seeing this type of relationship in media or real life and suddenly recognizing that this is what they wanted but didn’t have the words to describe. For others, engaging in a polyamorous relationship is a slow period of self-discovery and gradual awareness that monogamy is not the only option for a relationship. However you arrived at the place where you are considering a polyamorous relationship, welcome!
Creating Meaningful Habits: An Antidote to the New Year’s Resolution
How many of us on January 1st have set a New Year’s resolution along the lines of “I will meditate every day!” or “I will start an exercise routine”? At around the one month mark, many of us fall short of meeting these vague and sometimes arbitrary goals. This often sets off unhelpful self-talk such as “what’s the point” or “I can’t do anything right,” perhaps leading us to abandon our resolutions altogether. We might also fall into the oh-so-familiar trap of self-comparison when others seem to be succeeding with their goals.
Values: Why they are important and how to identify them.
Life can feel confusing when you are unsure of what's important to you. Perhaps you've taken on values of your family, society, or religion without realizing it and are feeling stuck. Values are directions that you want to go in life. They are unique to the person, so your values are likely a bit or maybe a lot different from my values or from your loved ones' values. As humans, we can easily get on autopilot and fail to take the time to ask ourselves "am I living a valued life?" And by that I mean a life consistent with your values! We often feel the most at peace with ourselves and with our lives when we are living according to our values.