You’re Not Overreacting: Women’s Pain, the Nervous System, and Healing
When Women’s Pain Is Dismissed
For many women, pain is not just physical. It is something that has been misunderstood, minimized, and dismissed for years.
Whether you’ve been told that menstrual pain is "normal," waited years for an actual diagnosis, or feel like you use every ounce of energy just to get through the day, many women learn early on that their pain will not be taken seriously. These experiences do more than just delay care and treatment, they can shape how women understand their own bodies and influence their sense of safety within them.
Many of these experiences are also connected to real, diagnosable medical conditions, and when women report their pain and symptoms, they deserve to be heard. Organizations like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recognize that conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids, interstitial cystitis, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and autoimmune disorders can cause ongoing pain and disruption to daily life (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024).
Despite this, women are frequently told that their symptoms are "just anxiety," normalized without further testing, or managed with interventions like hormonal birth control. It is true that chronic pain and conditions can co-occur with depression and anxiety, but that does not mean that all of your pain and symptoms are “all in your head.”
Research consistently shows that women's pain is more likely to be labeled as psychological, and that women experience longer delays in diagnosis and less adequate pain management compared to men (Boring & Mathur, 2025; Hoffmann & Tarzain, 2001). Women are more likely to be considered emotional and dramatic compared to men in medical settings, which further hinders women’s pain being taken seriously and appropriately cared for (Samulowitz et al., 2018). Not only does this affect women’s pain and symptoms, but also their experiences and trust within medical providers. If even medical providers don’t believe your pain, your brain and body are going to take over the role of protector. When pain is repeatedly minimized or left unexplained, the nervous system adapts. If the body has learned to respond with urgency when something feels off because no one believes you, that response makes complete sense.
Nervous System Responses to Chronic Pain
When pain and symptoms are intense, unpredictable, or dismissed, the nervous system can interpret them as a threat. In response, your body shifts into protective mode: fight or flight. This can look like an increased heart rate, shallow breathing, muscle tension, GI upset, or heightened vigilance around physical sensations.
Over time, the brain and body begin to associate certain sensations (pain, dizziness, GI changes) with danger, which can lead to increased sensitivity to your pain or even heightened reactions to it. This can create a cycle where symptoms feel more intense and more alarming even when not. This does not mean that you are exaggerating your pain, it means that your body has learned to be on constant alert to make sure your pain and symptoms are actually taken care of. Now, this is where many women feel that their bodies are a constant cycle of pain and anxiety. That’s a fair assumption. However, if your brain has learned this pattern it also means that it can learn how to partake in a different pattern.
Pain, the Brain, and Reprocessing
Pain Reprocessing Theory (PRT) focuses on retraining the brain to interpret pain differently than previously taught. When pain has been persistent and dismissed, the nervous system stays in that protective mode, which is why your brain and body treat every sensation like an emergency. PRT works to change this by helping you notice and reduce fear, panic, or urgency. Eventually your brain and body learn to notice sensations with less fear, which can reduce the intensity of pain signals and that sense of panic overall.
Research has shown that PRT can significantly reduce pain by looking at the brain’s role in shaping how pain is perceived (Ashar et al., 2021). This does not mean that your pain is imagined, it just means your brain plays a part in how pain is interpreted.
From this orientation, treatment is not about dismissing your symptoms. It’s about retraining your brain to stop going into fight or flight when you feel any sensation of pain or symptoms.
Reconnecting With the Body
Somatic approaches also support this process by helping women gradually reconnect with their bodies in a safe and supported way. For many women living with chronic pain or symptoms, the body can feel unsafe and even threatening, something to avoid rather than live in. Somatic work can focus on building a relationship with your body by using curiosity instead of panic (Meehan & Carter, 2021). Basically, being a “scientist” (curious and staying in the moment) instead of a “firefighter” (panicking and putting out a fire) when experiencing pain.
Somatic work and PRT begins with small steps to rebuild trust between the brain and body. This can take time as you are retraining your brain to trust your body again. This can look like noticing a sensation without judgment, learning to observe a symptom without going into danger mode, and slowly expanding the window of what feels tolerable. Over time, this helps the nervous system shift out of being in a state of constant fear and really works on allowing for regulation even when in pain. When the body no longer reads every sensation as a threat, symptoms tend to become less intense and easier to manage.
An Integrated Understanding of Pain
For women who have spent years feeling dismissed, unheard, or at war with their own bodies, the idea of feeling safe might seem out of reach. Safety can be felt even when symptoms are present, and it is built by understanding the body, and learning that discomfort does not have to mean danger. With appropriate medical care, genuine care, validation, and nervous system support, many women can experience change in how their bodies respond to pain and other symptoms. Your pain is real but that does not mean your life has to be controlled by it. The nervous system is adaptable, and with time, your body can become a safe place again.
References
Ashar, Y. K., Gordon, A., Schubiner, H., Uipi, C., Knight, K., Anderson, Z., Flood, T. F., Adams, N. B., & Wager, T. D. (2021). Effect of pain reprocessing therapy vs placebo and usual care for patients with chronic back pain: A randomized clinical trial. JAMA Psychiatry, 78(1), 11–13.
Boring, B. L., & Mathur, V. A. (2025). Gender discrimination is associated with greater chronic pain interference among women. The journal of pain, 31, 105376. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpain.2025.105376
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Chronic pain conditions and women’s health.https://www.cdc.gov
Hoffmann, D. E., & Tarzian, A. J. (2001). The girl who cried pain: A bias against women in the treatment of pain. Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics, 29(1), 13–27.
Meehan, E., & Carter, B. (2021). Moving With Pain: What Principles From Somatic Practices Can Offer to People Living With Chronic Pain. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 620381. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.620381
Samulowitz, A., Gremyr, I., Eriksson, E., & Hensing, G. (2018). “Brave men” and “emotional women”: A theory-guided literature review on gender bias in health care and gendered norms towards patients with chronic pain. Pain Research & Management, 2018, 1–14.