Which Addiction Support Group Is Right for You? A Chicago Therapist’s Guide for Families
When someone you care about is struggling with substance use, the attention often turns entirely towards helping them. Getting them into treatment, encouraging recovery, hoping they find healing. But what happens to you in the process?
Many people quietly carry the emotional, mental, and relational impact of someone else’s substance use disorder. Whether it is a partner, parent, sibling, child, or friend, the effects do not stop when the substance use does. Even if your loved one is now sober, or you have stepped away from that relationship, you might still be left with anxiety, guilt, people-pleasing patterns, or uncertainty about how to care for yourself.
There are support groups designed specifically for people in your shoes. Below is a research-based guide to help you understand the differences between groups, why they work, and how to find one that fits you best.
Why Peer Support Matters
Peer support groups give you a place to share your experiences with others who truly understand. These groups have been studied for decades, and the research consistently shows they can make a difference.
A longitudinal study published in Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly found that people who regularly attended Al-Anon for at least six months reported higher quality of life, better coping skills, and less distress about their loved one’s behavior (Timko et al., 2015). Other research highlights that peer groups help by offering social connection, structure, role modeling, and accountability for self-care (Humphreys et al., 2016).
Unlike therapy, peer groups are not clinical spaces. They are based on shared experience and community wisdom. Members often describe feeling less isolated, more hopeful, and better equipped to focus on their own well-being rather than on trying to control or fix someone else.
Overview of Common Support Groups
Below is a quick overview of the most well-known 12-step and peer support programs for people affected by another person’s substance use or relational dysfunction.
Support Group
Who It’s For
Main Focus and Features
Al-Anon / Alateen
Friends and family members affected by someone’s drinking.
Uses a 12-step structure adapted for loved ones. Encourages detachment with love, boundary setting, and self-focus. Alateen offers parallel support for teenagers.
Nar-Anon / Narateen
Loved ones of people affected by drug use.
Similar to Al-Anon but focused on drug-related challenges. Meetings often emphasize hope, boundaries, and serenity.
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)
Adults who grew up in homes with substance misuse or dysfunction.
Focuses on healing childhood trauma, developing emotional regulation, and addressing family patterns that carry into adulthood. Meetings explore concepts like the “inner child” and “reparenting.”
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA)
Anyone struggling with codependency, control, or people-pleasing patterns.
Focuses on developing self-esteem, authenticity, and healthy relationships. CoDA uses the 12 steps to help participants release the need to manage others.
SMART Recovery Family & Friends
Loved ones of people with addictive behaviors seeking a non-12-step approach.
Based on cognitive-behavioral and motivational principles. Focuses on effective communication, boundaries, and self-care using science-based tools.
It is common for people to try more than one group. For example, someone might attend both Al-Anon and ACA if they are navigating a current relationship with a person who misuses alcohol and also want to work through childhood dynamics that shaped their patterns.
How to Choose the Right Group for You
Think about what feels most pressing for you right now.
Are you managing ongoing stress from a loved one’s substance use?
Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can help you find calm and balance amid chaos.
Are you unpacking the long-term effects of growing up in a home where addiction or dysfunction were present?
ACA might help you find language and tools for healing old wounds.
Do you notice patterns of over-functioning, control, or people-pleasing in your relationships?
CoDA may be a good fit.
Do you prefer a more evidence-based and secular approach?
SMART Recovery Family & Friends might align better with your worldview.
If you feel unsure, you can explore several meetings before deciding. Many groups are open to anyone who feels they belong. You can attend different formats (open discussion, step study, newcomer meetings) to see what resonates most.
How to Get Started
Finding a meeting is easier than you might think. Most groups have national websites with meeting locators:
Al-Anon: www.al-anon.org
Nar-Anon: www.nar-anon.org
Adult Children of Alcoholics: www.adultchildren.org
CoDA: www.coda.org
SMART Recovery Family & Friends: www.smartrecovery.org
You can filter by in-person or online meetings, day of the week, or whether the group is open to newcomers. Some people feel nervous attending for the first time. Remember that you are welcome to listen quietly. You do not have to share or even turn your camera on for virtual meetings.
If you are working with a therapist, you can also ask them to help you explore which group may fit your needs or process your experiences after attending. In one study, clients were more likely to stick with Al-Anon when a professional offered a “facilitated referral,” meaning the therapist followed up and encouraged participation (Timko et al., 2022).
What to Expect Over Time
Many people feel an initial sense of relief and belonging when they start attending meetings. Over time, the experience often becomes more personal and reflective. In a study of long-term Al-Anon members, participants described improved mental health and greater ability to focus on their own lives, even if their loved one never entered recovery (Timko et al., 2022).
It is also normal to outgrow certain meetings or notice that some groups feel more rigid or less aligned with your values. You can always try different formats or fellowships. The goal is not to find a “perfect” group but to find consistent connection and support.
Research shows that sustained participation, even monthly, is associated with lasting benefits like lower stress, improved coping, and stronger social networks (Laudet et al., 2016). If a group stops feeling right, that is not a failure. It is a sign that your healing is evolving.
A Final Word
Support groups can be powerful spaces for growth, healing, and understanding. They remind you that you are not alone, that you did not cause another person’s addiction, and that your well-being matters too.
If you have been carrying someone else’s pain for too long, consider taking one small step for yourself this week. Attend a meeting, listen, and see how it feels to be surrounded by others who understand.
And if you want support integrating what you learn in these groups into your individual therapy, I would be honored to help you do that. Healing does not happen in isolation. It happens when we find community, compassion, and permission to focus on our own recovery journey.
References:
Timko, C., et al. (2015). Benefits of Al-Anon participation for adult family members of persons with alcohol use disorders. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 33(2), 164–181.
Timko, C., et al. (2022). Facilitated referral to Al-Anon Family Groups for people concerned about another’s drinking: Outcomes and mechanisms. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 139, 108776.
Humphreys, K., et al. (2016). Social processes explaining the benefits of Al-Anon participation. Journal of Groups in Addiction & Recovery, 11(1), 49–65.
Laudet, A. B., et al. (2016). The role of social support in recovery from substance use disorders. Substance Use & Misuse, 51(5), 559–576.
Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization. (n.d.). https://adultchildren.org