How to Make Friends in Chicago
Making friends as an adult can be challenging. Unlike our school years or early days at work, where proximity and shared experiences naturally facilitated connections, adulthood often requires more intentional effort to form meaningful relationships. Living in a major city like Chicago presents unique opportunities—but also unique challenges—when it comes to building friendships. With its vibrant social scene and countless activities, the Windy City offers endless possibilities to meet people, yet knowing where to begin can feel overwhelming. If you’re looking to grow your circle in Chicago, here’s your roadmap to getting started.
The Importance of Friendships
Friendships are vital to our overall wellbeing. Studies show that meaningful relationships improve both mental and physical health, reducing stress, lowering the risk of chronic illnesses, and even increasing longevity. Emotionally, strong friendships provide support, a sense of belonging, and an outlet for sharing life’s joys and challenges.
In Chicago’s vastness, friendships can help you feel more grounded. They offer a sense of stability in a city that’s always got something new to offer. Having someone to explore new restaurants, attend festivals, or simply relax with after a long day can make urban living much more fulfilling. Friendships don’t just enhance your social life—they act as a buffer against loneliness and foster personal growth through shared experiences and diverse perspectives.
Beyond personal benefits, friendships contribute to community building. Strong networks create a sense of interconnectedness, transforming a sprawling city like Chicago into a collection of smaller, welcoming communities. Prioritizing friendships isn’t just about companionship—it’s an investment in your overall quality of life.
Self-Confidence as a Friendship Factor
I often remind clients that building self-confidence is a cornerstone to forming new relationships. Confidence allows you to approach others with openness and authenticity, which is magnetic to potential friends. However, many of us struggle with self-doubt or fear of rejection. Here are a few strategies to boost your confidence and ease your worries:
Practice Positive Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Replace self-critical thoughts like “I’ll probably embarrass myself” with empowering affirmations such as “I’ll probably make people laugh and allow them to open up and be themselves.”
Focus on Strengths: Make a list of qualities you admire about yourself. Whether it’s your sense of humor, creativity, or kindness, reminding yourself of these traits can help you feel more secure in social settings.
Set Small Goals: Start with low-pressure interactions, such as smiling at a stranger or making small talk with a cashier. Each positive encounter builds momentum and reinforces your confidence.
Reframe Rejection: Understand that rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth. Often, it’s about timing, circumstances, or compatibility. Instead of fearing rejection, view it as a natural part of the process that brings you closer to finding genuine connections. I like to say the best form of rejection therapy is reflecting on times you have rejected a friendship or connection. It likely wasn’t because you actively disliked that person. It’s much easier to go easy on yourself when you give others permission to be honest about what they’re looking for, without taking it personally.
Make the First Move
In Chicago, or anywhere for that matter, forming connections often starts with taking initiative. Say hello to a neighbor, strike up a conversation with a coworker, or introduce yourself at an event. It can be intimidating at first, but many people are just as eager to make friends as you are. Assume the best of others and don’t let a rare unfriendly encounter deter you. After all, this is the Midwest—friendly interactions are often the norm!
Build Opportunity Friendships
Opportunity friendships—those formed through regular exposure to people in shared environments—are a great way to grow your network. Here’s how to create these opportunities in Chicago:
Take a Class or Join a Group: Sign up for an art class, improv group, or fitness program. Places like The Second City, Lillstreet Art Center, and local park district gyms are fantastic spots to meet like-minded people. Websites like Meetup (https://www.meetup.com/chicago-social-events/), Facebook, and Eventbrite often have several groups or events posted to help you in your search!
Become a Regular: Frequent a favorite coffee shop, bar, or farmers market. Chicago’s neighborhoods each have their own community vibe, and showing up consistently helps you become part of it.
Volunteer: Nonprofit organizations like the Greater Chicago Food Depository or local community gardens often need help, and volunteering is an excellent way to meet people while giving back.
Get on the Apps
Technology isn’t just for dating! Apps like Bumble BFF and Meetup are tailored for people looking to make new connections. On Bumble BFF, you can swipe on potential friends, while Meetup lets you join groups based on shared interests, from book clubs to hiking meetups along the Lakefront Trail.
Avoid Common Mistakes
Building meaningful friendships takes time and effort. Here are some pitfalls to avoid:
Don’t Rush: Friendships that feel forced or overly intense early on can be unsustainable. Let connections develop naturally.
Avoid Over-Reliance on Partner’s Friends: While your partner’s social circle can be a great starting point, creating your own independent friendships ensures a well-rounded social life.
Don’t Fear Rejection: Not every connection will turn into a lasting friendship, and that’s okay. Focus on the process rather than the outcome.
Final Takeaway
Making friends in Chicago is about putting yourself out there, staying open to new experiences, and showing persistence. Whether it’s striking up a conversation at a festival in Millennium Park, joining a local running club, or simply chatting with your barista, every interaction is an opportunity to connect. With time, effort, and a little courage, you’ll find your people in the Windy City.