Healing Through Pleasure: The Intersection of Sexual Wellness and Mental Health
sexual wellness
/sek·shoo·uhl wel·nuhs/
1. A state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity.
2. A positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences free of coercion, discrimination, and violence. To attain and maintain, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected, and fulfilled
3. Having access to sexual health information, education, and care. Practicing safe sex and seeking care when needed. Experiencing sexual pleasure, satisfaction, and intimacy when desired. Communicating about sexual health with others, including sexual partners and healthcare providers.
The image at the top of this page is a personal creation. The swirling soft hues of sage green and deep purple represent the gentle rhythm of breath. The burst of gold is meant to represent vitality and warmth. When I decided to put brush to paper, I wanted to create an image that embodied an exploration of pleasure. I let my mind and body take over as I tapped into my sensuality, letting each brushstroke ebb and flow until I felt that all the sensations were on the page.
I’d like you, the reader, to imagine taking the golden burst in the center of the image and holding it in your hands. This burst can represent many things for you, but for this moment’s sake, let it represent your right to experience joy, sensuality, and safety in your body. Now close your eyes and imagine it expanding outwards, filling the space around you. The feeling you feel and the warmth surrounding you is how healing through pleasure can begin.
I want to make it clear that sexual wellness isn’t solely about sex—it’s about embracing pleasure in its many forms. Think more than just the physical experience. Think about how we touch ourselves, connect with others, and even create art. Sexual wellness is about allowing ourselves to feel good and being unapologetic about it because we recognize that it is crucial for our mental health. Mental health and sexual wellness are intimately connected and vital to our overall well-being.
Sadly, sexual wellness is often overlooked, stigmatized, and usually ignored in conversations about healing from trauma, anxiety, or depression. However, when we embrace our sexuality in intentional and healthy ways, it can be healing and transformative even, helping us to reconnect to our bodies, build our self-esteem, and foster emotional resilience.
Understanding Sexual Wellness and Mental Health
The overall well-being of a person’s sexuality, including physical, emotional, psychological, and social factors, is sexual wellness. When we take the time to acknowledge and nurture our sexuality, we are allowing ourselves to recognize the importance of pleasure, intimacy, consent, and healthy relationships. Sexual wellness is about feeling comfortable in our own skin and comfortable expressing our true desires in a way that empowers and fulfills us.
Sexual and mental health are intrinsically linked. When we are experiencing pleasure – through dancing, artmaking, touch, and other non-sexual activities – our brain releases dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. The “feel good” hormones. When we feel good, our stress, anxiety, and depression are at bay, and these hormones help to reduce these states as well.
How Embracing Pleasure Can Aid in Healing
Everyone and anyone can embrace pleasure to aid in their healing journey—no matter their gender, age, relationship status, or sexual orientation. Individuals in relationships, new parents, singles, trauma survivors, older and emerging adults, people who experience stress or shame, have mental health conditions, chronic pain and other physical disabilities or health conditions, and more can benefit from reclaiming pleasure as an essential step towards healing.
Trauma, specifically sexual and reproductive trauma, can create a disconnect between someone’s relationship with the body and with pleasure. Other mental health issues like anxiety and depression can make a person feel disconnected, numb, and undeserving of any joy. When we embrace and explore pleasure, it can offer us ways to reclaim and reconnect to what was lost or hidden. Pleasure for healing offers:
Reconnection to the body
Trauma processing
Emotional resilience
Enhancing intimacy and connection
Boosting self-esteem and confidence
Stress reduction
Exploration and sexual fulfillment
Improved mental health
Agency
Ways to Engage in Sexual Wellness Through Pleasure
Engaging in sexual wellness promotes sexual self-care. Self-care is a hot topic these days, and so hot that it's likely safe to say we all know we should be engaging in it, but sometimes we aren't even sure where to start. Despite all the steam, there truly is a reason we need to embrace our vibrant, whole selves. Here are some intentional and pleasurable ways to nurture your sexual self:
Mindful Touch: Explore how you can connect to your body in nurturing and pleasurable ways. Exploration can be self-massages, warm baths, gentle stretching, or pampering ourselves with things like body scrubs.
Connection outside of sexually charged contexts: Forms of daily movement can get us in tune with our sensual selves. This can also be gentle stretching, yoga, pilates, walking, and dancing.
Self-exploration: Self-pleasure will always be a form of self-care. Exploring what feels good for you, without judgment and pressure, can be powerful in rebuilding a positive relationship with your body.
Scheduled intimacy: Scheduling sex can be an exciting thing to look forward to, whether it's with partners or solo play. Scheduling also allows you to prepare your mind, body, and spirit for engaging in pleasure. This can also promote agency and control.
Embrace Variety: Try broadening your sexual experiences. Being open and curious about your sexuality can be pleasurable and healing. Explore different types of touch, textures, or toys that feel pleasurable. Slow it down or speed up. Look into ethical porn or read erotica.
Open Conversations: Being open and willing to share your adventures with trusted loved ones can encourage a healthy expression of sexuality. Pursuing your own sexual well-being and sharing your discoveries can reinforce positive experiences for yourself and others you choose to share with.
Developing a healthy and healed relationship toward pleasure is a path entirely decided by you. Whether it involves books, courses, sex toys, meditation, or massage, the journey is yours. Just like we all engage in other wellness journeys and how those differ from person to person, it will also vary when it comes to sexuality. Remembering to prioritize our body in ways that feel authentic to us is what guides our pleasure path to healing.
Art as a Path to Healing
I want to encourage you to reflect on the concept of sexual wellness and consider creating your own piece of art. Think about what pleasure means to you. What are the colors, shapes, or textures that come to mind? Do you enjoy the soft sensations of silk against your skin or the warmth of the sunrise in the morning? Use the images to guide your creation. While you create, try to notice any emotions that arise and implement them into your artmaking. Are there any barriers? Is there ease? Control? How does your body respond to these reflections on pleasure?
Express it through your art and claim it as your pleasure so your healing can be your masterpiece.
After completing your image, you can journal the emotions and thoughts that came up for you while creating to deepen self-awareness. Following artmaking by engaging your senses with soothing textures or breathwork can also help to reconnect to the body and offer grounding. Engaging in gentle movement or dance inspired by your art encourages the embodiment of pleasure, or try using affirmations to reinforce your connection between pleasure and healing. Finally, displaying or incorporating the artwork into a personal ritual, such as lighting candles or using essential oils, can further nurture self-love and reflection.
Conclusion
When we heal through pleasure, we are taking back a narrative. Anxiety, depression, trauma, pain, new parenthood, whatever your case may be, can no longer steal from us. Reconnecting with our whole selves by tuning into our bodies, honoring our desires, and embracing moments of joy are all intentional steps toward mental wellness. Allow yourself to feel good.
