Am I Having an Existential Crisis? A Guide Towards Awareness and Acceptance
Have you ever felt without direction, alone in life, or meaningless in the grand scheme of things? If your answer is yes, you probably have had an existential crisis to some degree. Although existential crises are sometimes spoken about with a dismissive tone, having a crisis of this kind deserves to be taken seriously, especially when it feels all-consuming. An existential crisis is often described as a moment of profound questioning, where the foundations of one’s life and identity seem to crumble. It’s a period of intense self-reflection, often accompanied by a deep sense of emptiness, confusion, and anxiety about one’s purpose in life. This blog post will explore the causes and symptoms of existential crises, as well as how to navigate these feelings and questions with compassion and acceptance.
The Agony of Choice
"The agony of choice" is a common phrase referring to the overwhelming burden that can accompany having too many options or the freedom to choose one’s path in life. While freedom is often celebrated as a cornerstone of personal autonomy, it can paradoxically lead to existential crises. When faced with limitless possibilities, individuals may grapple with the pressure to make the "right" choices, fearing the consequences of choosing poorly. This can trigger deep anxiety and self-doubt, as each decision seems to carry the weight of defining one’s identity, purpose, and future. The vast expanse of freedom, rather than feeling liberating, can become a source of paralyzing uncertainty, leading to existential questioning about the meaning and direction of one’s life.
Cultural Minimization or Dismissal of Existential Crises
Minimization or dismissal of existential crises occurs when societies or communities downplay or ignore the significance of these deeply personal experiences. In many cultures, especially in the U.S., the pursuit of meaning and the questioning of life’s purpose are often overshadowed by the emphasis on material success, productivity, and outward appearances of stability. This can lead individuals experiencing an existential crisis to feel isolated or invalidated, as their struggles are seen as trivial or self-indulgent rather than legitimate concerns. The lack of cultural acknowledgment and support for existential crises can discourage open discussions about the emotional and philosophical challenges people face, pushing these crises into the shadows where they are harder to address and resolve. This cultural dismissal can exacerbate feelings of alienation and confusion, making it more difficult for individuals to navigate their crises and find a sense of meaning and direction.
Your Concerns are Valid!
One's existential concerns are deeply valid, as they stem from the fundamental human experience of grappling with life's biggest questions—purpose, identity, and mortality. Being human is inherently overwhelming; we are conscious beings aware of our own existence, yet constantly confronted with the vast unknowns of life. The complexity of navigating relationships, careers, personal growth, and the inevitable reality of death can stir profound anxiety and uncertainty. These existential concerns are not signs of weakness but rather reflections of a thoughtful mind trying to make sense of its place in an intricate and often confusing world! Acknowledging the weight of these concerns is crucial, as it honors the depth of our emotional and intellectual lives and underscores the shared human struggle to find meaning and fulfillment amidst life's challenges. You are not alone in this struggle.
What Does an Existential Crisis Feel Like?
Existential crises can look very differently from one person to another. The diversity of these experiences means that what triggers an existential crisis, how it unfolds, and the ways it impacts one’s life can vary greatly, making each person’s journey through it deeply personal and distinct. Below are symptoms you may have if you’re going through an existential crisis:
Emotionally:
Alienation or feeling disconnected from others or yourself
A sense of hopelessness, a feeling that life lacks purpose, or feeling like nothing matters
Fear, confusion, or anxiety
Longing for meaning or “a sign”
Cognitively:
Persistent thoughts about the meaning of life
Anxiety about mortality
Ruminating on the purpose of existence
Thinking profusely about identity or past experiences
Behaviorally:
Withdrawal from social activities
Avoiding responsibilities
Making impulsive decisions
Physically:
Insomnia
Fatigue
Appetite changes
Why Am I Having an Existential Crisis?
Existential crises can arise at various stages of life, often during significant transitions or turning points. Common life stages where these crises may occur include adolescence, midlife, and later in life. Potential turning points such as the loss of a loved one, a career change, or a major life event like retirement can also bring about an existential crisis. Many people face an existential crisis following college graduation, experiencing a lack of built-in structure for the first time in their life. These periods of change often provoke overwhelming questions about the purpose and direction of one’s life. Below are some examples of existential crisis causes:
Major Life Events: Traumatic events, loss, or significant life changes can trigger an existential crisis as they force individuals to confront the fragility and unpredictability of life.
Psychological Factors: Personality traits such as high levels of introspection or neuroticism may predispose individuals to existential crises. People who are naturally reflective or anxious may be more prone to questioning the meaning and purpose of life.
Philosophical Exploration: A deep engagement with philosophical questions, such as the nature of existence or the meaning of life, can lead to an existential crisis, especially if these questions remain unresolved.
Societal Norms: The pressures of modern life, such as the need for success, happiness, and fulfillment, can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and meaninglessness, leading to an existential crisis.
Over time: For some, an existential crisis may develop gradually as a result of long-term dissatisfaction with life, a lack of fulfillment, or ongoing stress.
Guidance for Inviting Awareness and Acceptance to Your Experience
There are countless ways to navigate existential concerns, and each person’s path will look different. Common threads will likely include awareness, acceptance, connection to others, and compassion. Together, these approaches create a supportive environment that can help you find meaning, clarity, and resilience as you move through an existential crisis. Below are some specific strategies to help you cope with an existential crisis:
Turn Towards Connection: First and foremost, reaching out to friends, community members, and family for support can provide comfort and a sense of belonging during a crisis. Connecting with others who are also experiencing similar thoughts and feelings can be deeply helpful. Notice how you feel when you engage in a communal hobby, go to a local concert, or have someone you love over for dinner; you might feel just a bit relieved of your existential dread.
Mindfulness and Acceptance: Practice mindfulness and focus on the present in whatever way works for you - this can be going on a walk and noticing the trees, doing a senses exploration, or focusing on your breath. Cultivating awareness helps you to better understand your thoughts and emotions, while acceptance allows you to face these difficult feelings without judgment.
Notice Rumination: Rumination refers to constant, overwhelming, consuming thought patterns that are often colloquially called “spirals.” Rumination is a natural human experience, however when these thought patterns start to impact your life significantly, you might want to seek out a therapist to get the support you deserve.
Drop the Rope: This is a concept that empowers you to step into the role of the observer within yourself. Imagine there are parts within yourself playing tug of war. This tug of war feels stressful and overwhelming, but both parts refuse to see the other’s side. This is when you realize that you can “drop the rope.” You can gently tell these parts within yourself that you see they are very passionate, that their concerns are valid, and that right now we are going to pause this, because it is escalating to a place of stress.
Thought Defusion: One of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy’s core skills, thought defusion helps you create some distance from your thoughts, so you don’t feel entirely consumed by them. Internal Family Systems integrates thought defusion techniques by using parts language (e.g., “A part of me feels this way…”).
Distress Tolerance: A core component of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, distress tolerance promotes your ability to sit alongside uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, in order to feel more connected with your internal strength in the long term.
Reflect in a Journal, Voice Note, or Collage: Writing down, speaking, or collaging about thoughts and feelings can help clarify emotions and offer you a space to process the depths of your feelings.
Explore and Learn: Engaging with philosophical or spiritual ideas can offer new perspectives and help find meaning in life’s challenges. Allow yourself to be a beginner and learn something new, you might be surprised by how it affects you.
Be Kind to Yourself: An existential crisis is a deeply personal experience, and it’s important to allow yourself time to process and heal. Self-compassion is a daily practice that can help soothe the weight of existential dread.
Therapy: There are many different types of therapy that can support you during a crisis, including Existential Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Internal Family Systems.
Seek emergency support when needed: If the symptoms of an existential crisis become overwhelming or lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it’s important to seek professional intervention immediately. Indicators for professional help include persistent feelings of hopelessness, inability to function in daily life, or severe anxiety, depression, and dissociation.
Conclusion
Experiencing an existential crisis is a normal part of the human experience, often serving as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. While these crises can be challenging, understanding their causes, symptoms, and potential solutions can help to navigate them effectively. It’s important to remember that an existential crisis is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of deep introspection and a desire for a more meaningful life. With the right tools and support, it’s likely you will emerge from an existential crisis with a renewed sense of purpose, connection, and direction.
