Thoughts That Keeps Parents Up at Night
Have you ever tried to paint and cook at the same time? Paintbrush in one hand, spatula in the other. No? Yeah, same. Because, honestly, why would anyone be doing that? Ironically, that’s kind of how some people see parenting — like, why would anyone willingly sign up for that?
But parenting is exactly that: trying to create a masterpiece with a paintbrush in one hand and a screaming toddler in the other. Some days — hopefully most days — you’ll find yourself painting a beautiful work of art. Other days… well it looks more like a wild Sam Gilliam: chaotic, colorful, and a little messy.
If you’ve ever laying awake at night wondering if you’re doing this whole parenting thing right (or at all), you are definitely not alone.
So, let’s get real about some of the most common worries and thoughts swirling through parents’ minds — and, just maybe find some peace along the way.
“I’m tired all the time.”
Exhaustion. DUH! Super common, and probably one of the most prevalent parenting struggles you’ll experience across all ages and developmental stages. What most parents know is that parenting is a full-time, high-stakes gig with few coffee breaks in sight. There is a never ending to-do list that submerges you, and leaves you drowning. Between work deadlines, school runs, meals, laundry, regulating everyone's emotions, and somehow keeping yourself somewhat human, burnout is real. Juggling all the things, all the time, often leaves parents feeling consistently drained. That’s a lot of sleepless nights and multitasking chaos.
Yet, you don't have to do it all perfectly. Lower your bar, on purpose. Stop aiming for “productive,” and try peaceful. Or, a personal favorite: convenient. Make sure to prioritize you time. Take five minutes a day to weave through the burnout — whether that’s a deep breath, a solo walk around the block, or a guilty-pleasure snack. Delegate when you can and be ruthless about what really needs to get done.
Lastly, don’t hesitate to call it early when you can. Don’t wait for burnout. Pajamas at 6? Do it. Leave the dishes. Sanity waits for no one.
“I feel like I’m failing.”
Did that one hit deep? Do you second-guess every decision—from screen time limits to how you handled that meltdown? Yeah, same. Relax your stress lines though, because here’s a little relief: nearly 85% of parents worry they’re not doing enough or messing things up. The truth? No one is perfect, and kids don’t need flawless — they need present. Parenting is about showing up with love and patience, because children thrive on connection.
On the topic of reframes, try reframing failure as feedback. Okay, you yelled. It’s fine. It doesn't mean you’re a bad parent—it’s a sign you’re stretched. Be curious, not cruel. Celebrate the small wins — survived that meltdown? Rocked that bedtime routine? Those moments add up to something beautiful. Jot them down if you have to: a giggle, a cuddle, an “I love you.” Call it your Gold Star List, and read it when your inner critic gets loud. Remember that you’re their person, not their perfection.
“I don’t know how to handle this behavior.” “Why won’t they just listen?”
If you’ve ever shouted “Why won’t they just listen?!” into the void, you’re in good company. Nearly half of parents report behavior and discipline as their biggest struggle. Toddlers perfect the art of selective hearing, and teens? Well, they’re the true masters. Tiny secret: when you focus on connection first, the commands don’t feel like a battleground.
Lower your voice, get on their level, and acknowledge their feelings before you ask for cooperation. It’s like mixing paint slowly — rushing just makes a bigger mess. You can also try getting curious, not just corrective. Question: What’s this behavior telling me? Hunger, overstimulation, or “just got home from school” fatigue can often look like defiance.
Pro tip? Use fewer words. Sometimes short, clear directions tend to land better than a lecture. Also, not all behavior needs a response. Parents, if anything is ever stressed enough, it's to pick your battles. Occasionally, the most powerful parenting move is walking away to protect your peace.
“How do I get them off their screens?”
You hate them. Noted. You love them. NOTED. Notice that. There's no winning this argument in the parenting world. Darned if you do, and darned if you don’t. It is a parental Mount Everest, sort of thrilling, definitely scary, but if done right, clout affirming. The average kid spends about seven hours a day on screens — a huge, glaring splash on that Sam Gilliam masterpiece you're working on. It makes sense that managing it feels overwhelming and sometimes downright impossible.
Tangible fix? Boundaries. Make them clear but flexible. Sprinkle a tech-free zone here, and offer a tradeoff or two there. Example being, “lets replace screen time after dinner with playing outside or story time.” Get curious about what your kid truly enjoys about their devices and use screens with them. Use it for bonding, instead of just to distract. It can build trust that makes the “off-screen” transition smoother for everyone. Oh, and don’t forget to lead by example – your toddler is watching.
“I miss who I used to be.”
Parenting does change us. It’s a beautiful transformation but also one that can leave you feeling a little disoriented. When you become a caregiver, your sense of self can get lost, leaving you to question, What happened to me? Three a.m., partying you, may not be around as much, but the partier is in there still. So, reclaim small moments for yourself through things like reading, painting, or bingeing your favorite show until 3am – just be ready for several caffeinated drinks the next day. Which is also okay. Your kids benefit when you’re feeling like a full, happy human.
Other helpful tip: You’re not “off”—you’re overwhelmed. Write it out, say it out loud, tell a trusted friend or therapist. But also know it is okay to grieve. Something has been lost. Maybe many things have been lost. The loss of freedom, spontaneity, or identity is real. You’re allowed to miss your old self while still loving your current life.
“I’m scared for their future.”
Are you prone to future-tripping? Yeah, same. It‘s what happens when your brain skips the present and spirals straight into the “what ifs.” What if they never learn to self-regulate? What if I’m ruining them? What if I mess this up and they need therapy forever? It’s the big, unspoken fear that keeps so many parents awake. Truth is, our youth do experience diagnosable mental health challenges, so it’s completely natural to worry about what lies ahead. It’s anxiety wearing a parenting costume—and it pulls you out of the now, where your actual power lives. But instead of stressing over every unknown, focus on what you can teach: empathy, resilience, kindness.
Model these values and more in everyday life. When you find yourself on edge, name it and apologize. Teach emotional safety opposed to damage. Presence, care, and love will outweigh the missteps. When in doubt: hugs, snacks, and water. For them and you.
Final Thought Dump
Parenting is a lot. It’s chaotic from start to finish, honestly. Parenting is unpredictable, messy, and exhausting — but it’s also full of small moments that, when put together, create a beautiful, unique masterpiece. Naming your worries and knowing that you’re not alone can lighten the load. Next time those nighttime doubts creep in, pick one small strategy from this list and remind yourself: you’re creating something amazing every single day, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.