The Erotic Self-Portrait: An Exercise in Reclaiming Your Sexual Narrative
To be erotic means to be connected to your aliveness, desire, and sensuality. It is more than sex. To be erotic is about feeling deeply. When you start noticing the way warm water feels on your skin, when your heart skips a bit because you crave something or someone, or when a song gives you chills – that is erotic. Simply put, it is the energy of being turned on by life—not just sexually, but emotionally, creatively, and physically.
So, ask yourself, when was the last time you saw yourself as erotic—not for someone else's gaze, not to perform, but literally just for you? When is the last time you saw and felt yourself as fully and sensually alive?
Creating your erotic self-portrait is going to be more than an art directive. Engaging in the art is an act of radical reclamation that invites you to see yourself as more than a body. It invites you to see yourself as your body, and to know that your body is a space of desire, aliveness, curiosity, and pleasure. Society has domesticated most of us to outsource our sexuality to partners, porn, perfectionism, or more. With this practice you can gently bring it back home.
Why Erotic Art Is Healing
Audre Lorde famously described the erotic as a source of power, rooted in feeling and presence. Often in therapy we use creativity to help us access the parts of ourselves that we cannot always name.
Like trauma, the erotic often lives beneath words and language. Yet, it pulses in color, shape tension, and even rhythm. When we make art about eroticism it allows us to bypass the inner critic and speak directly to what is likely longing to be felt. Think sensual, messy, playful, or tender. And it isn’t about being naked either, even though it can be. Delving into your erotic self requires honesty. You don't have to be "in love with your body" to try this. You just need curiosity. You just need a moment of willingness to witness yourself.
How to Create an Erotic Self-Portrait
1. Set up your pace:
• Choose your materials (collage, photography, drawing, mixed media).
• Set the mood by doing something such as lighting a candle or putting on music that helps you drop into your body.
• Ground yourself with a body scan or a few deep breaths.
2. Choose Your Entry Point:
Here are some prompts to begin:
• What does desire look like in me today?
• What mood or energy do I want to capture? (e.g., playful, powerful, vulnerable, sultry, raw, dreamy)
• If my body could speak in color, what would it say?
• What part of me craves tenderness? What part craves attention?
• What parts of my body or being feels the most alive or worthy of attention right now? (Could be physical, like your lips, hips, or collarbone. Energetic, like your voice, patience, or presence.)
• What image would I make if no one else would ever see it?
3. Let Yourself Make:
• Let go of any and all expectations. This isn’t about having some sort of skill or beauty. This is only about truth.
• Don’t censor yourself. If it feels awkward, simply notice that. And if it feels good, try to lean in.
• Utilize symbols, textures, gestures, and even found objects in your art-making. Anything that helps you feel.
4. Reflect Gently:
When you reflect, try asking yourself:
• What emerged in this piece that surprised me?
• Did I feel exposed, safe, silly, powerful?
• What stories about my sensuality or body came up during this?
• What parts of myself felt reclaimed in this process?
• What does this image want from me now? Is it more rest or pleasure? To be seen? To maybe be expressed in real life?
• Am I going to share this? If so, how? If not, how will I protect it?
This erotic self-portrait is to remember that you are a body and that you hold power. Pleasure and expression only ever has to be just for you and not anyone else. Think about returning to this practice periodically, like monthly or seasonally. Maybe you’ll notice subtle changes like something deepening or expanding.
Creating art might only be your beginning. If this doesn’t feel like the finished process, there are more things you can try to open up the door to your erotic self. You can curate an erotic playlist out of songs that awaken your sensuality. Write a love letter to your erotic self or design a mini sensory ritual that awakens the senses. Lastly, try a sensual photoshoot (solo or partnered) for you or try playing with erotic archetypes by exploring who or what else you embody erotically (A seductress? A divine muse?).
If anything, remember: the erotic lives inside of you. It isn't something you find “out there” or earn. It’s waiting for an invitation to be seen, because you are the muse, the maker, and you are already enough.