How to Encourage Your Partner to Attend Couples Therapy
By Sydney Rinehart, MSW
Couples therapy can be a game-changer for relationships facing challenges and conflicts. It can even bolster a strong relationship as it evolves and grows. But here's the thing: convincing your partner to take that step with you might not always be a walk in the park. Remember, the road to healing and growth in your relationship starts with open, heartfelt conversations.
Why couples therapy?
Before we jump into the tactics, let's reflect on why couples therapy or premarital counseling might be precisely what your relationship needs. Acknowledging the need for support is the very first step. Here are some telltale signs that it might be time to explore couples therapy:
Communication has gone haywire: If you find yourselves arguing over everything or barely talking, professional help might be the lifeline you need. Good communication can make every part of your relationship improve - and most of us have never been taught how to communicate in relationships.
Unresolved issues: Lingering conflicts or recurring problems that never seem to go away might be a cue to seek support. Sometimes big relationship ruptures, like infidelity or sticking events, can make even the little, day to day stuff seem big and insurmountable.
Emotional disconnect: Feeling distant from each other emotionally? That's where couples therapy can work its magic, helping you rebuild intimacy.
Trust issues: Infidelity or trust breaches can take a toll on any relationship. Therapy provides a safe space to address and heal these wounds without creating more damage.
Life transitions: Major life changes, like becoming parents—a key focus in parenting counseling—a big move, wedding planning, and loss, can stir up relationship stress. Therapy can guide you through these transitions as a team.
Concerns about trauma: Other areas of your life or personal history seem to impact your relationship with a partner, creating dynamics that feel unhealthy or reminiscent of past relationships or your family of origins.
Approaches to Encourage Your Partner
Heart-to-heart talk: Starting the conversation about couples therapy requires tenderness. Begin by sharing your feelings and worries openly. Use "I" statements, such as "I feel like we're growing apart, and I want to work on us." Be honest. Resentments build when partners keep their emotional needs private.
Paint a brighter picture: Highlight the potential benefits of couples therapy. Talk about how it can help both of you grow individually and as a couple. Share stories of couples who've found happiness through therapy to show it's not all doom and gloom. Longstanding myths about couples therapy as a stop on the path to splitting up often get in the way of making that first appointment. Affirm any misconceptions your partner has while challenging the stigma.
Lay off the blame: No finger-pointing here. Couples therapy isn't about finding faults; it's about understanding each other better and finding solutions together.
Express your commitment: Make it crystal clear that you're committed to the relationship and willing to work together to make it better. Reassure your partner that you're on the same team, and therapy is a step toward a brighter future.
Patience is key: Give your partner the time to mull over the idea of therapy. Understand that they may have reservations or fears about discussing their emotions. Offer unwavering support during this period.
Share your personal goals: Discuss your personal goals for therapy and how they align with strengthening the relationship. Explain how you envision a future filled with improved communication, intimacy, and connection. Allow your partner to explore their own goals without getting defensive.
Flexibility is key: Be flexible in your approach. Suggest different therapy formats, such as in-person sessions, online therapy, or group therapy, depending on what makes your partner feel most comfortable. Remind them that if the connection isn’t there with the first therapist, there are other options available.
Normalize help-seeking: Let your partner know that seeking professional help is a common and healthy step in many relationships. Normalize the idea that couples from all walks of life and stages can benefit from therapy.
Encouraging your partner to embrace couples therapy is a journey that calls for empathy, patience, and heartfelt communication. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness but an act of courage toward a stronger relationship. Approach the conversation with warmth and humanity, and you'll pave the way for healing and growth together.
If you're ready to take the next step or have more questions about couples therapy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us or schedule a couples therapy appointment online. Your relationship deserves the opportunity to flourish, and professional therapy can unlock its full potential. Embark on this journey toward a happier, healthier partnership here at Balanced Awakening.
