The First Few Months of School: Understanding and Advocating for Your Child’s Needs
Understanding Your Child’s Needs at School
Each year, as school returns to full swing and families find themselves back in routine and structure, I often consider the impact of this transition on children. The summer months allow for flexibility, allowing children to meet their needs in more personalized ways, while the school year can be more rigid, requiring students to adapt to a standard. Every child is different, and as they are asked to fall back into routine, their differences may impact their individual learning experiences.
As an adult, you are able to adjust elements of your life in accordance to your needs. Throughout your decision making process, you can weigh the pros and cons of every option and make a choice that feels aligned. No one wants their life to be difficult, and we have the ability to advocate for any accommodations or go another route if it would be more beneficial.
Children, however, are expected to fit into the pre-existing structure of the school year without their individual needs immediately considered. How, when every human processes and functions differently, is it 100% beneficial to generalize your child’s school experience? Instead, it is important to try and understand your child’s needs to the best of your ability and create space for them in a structured environment.
While it may feel like you are the expert on your child, there is always more to discover. Checking in with your child and their school can help you better understand what drives them, what may be holding them back, and what adjustments could be made to improve their experience overall.
There are countless ways to show up for your child as they navigate the school year, such as: Make Time for Daily Check-Ins.
Life can get extremely busy, extremely fast. When this happens, it may be easy to cut out “small” things to make room for other responsibilities. While it is important to keep up with your daily life and make adjustments where necessary, keeping an open line of communication between you and your child about their day to day will allow you to better understand their needs and how they change.
Check-ins can be simple - they can be combined with things you already do during the day, like the drive home from school or eating dinner, and don’t need to be extremely long. These check-ins provide time to deeply listen and learn about your child, while also providing input about how they are handling their day to day.
Stay Connected With Your Child’s School
Throughout the school year, your child becomes connected with an array of school teachers and staff that serve as their support during the day. Even with daily check-ins with your child, there is a great benefit to knowing those that experience the day alongside them.
Parent teacher meetings are typically offered by the school on a quarterly or semester basis. These meetings provide designated time to ask teachers about your child’s performance and experience in school, but they do not have to be the only time that you are interacting with your child’s educators. Asking for extra communication with your child’s teacher will allow you to understand how they are doing without you in the classroom, and can allow you to work collaboratively with someone who sees your child functioning outside of the home.
Understand IEPs and 504 Plans
There are many options at each school for children who would benefit from extra support in the classroom. At public and charter schools, an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP, can be set up for your child to ensure consistent support and individualized education. IEPs outline supports and specialized education for the school year, and are written by a team of staff that is most in contact with your child.
The process for requesting an evaluation may vary by school, but talking with your child’s teacher or school team about your concerns can be a great place to start. Parents can also request an evaluation to determine whether their child may be eligible for special education services. If eligible, an IEP can then be developed to outline the individualized supports and services their child will receive.
If your child is not eligible for an IEP, a 504 plan is another option for implementing accommodations to improve learning. While an IEP can provide individualized instruction, a 504 plan is designed to support success in general education. Similarly to an IEP, 504 plans are determined by discussing your child’s needs with their team at school, and are updated regularly.
Provide Consistent Emotional Support
Spaces such as therapy can provide a consistent reminder for your child to check in with themselves and their needs. Even with daily check-ins, children may feel worried about sharing certain wants and needs. Some things, no matter how close you are with your child, are hard to discuss with family. Therapy provides an unbiased, supportive environment where children can explore their feelings and understand their needs.
Notice and Celebrate Their Efforts
There are a lot of elements of school that cannot be changed. While this is great practice in learning how to adapt in spaces that require flexibility, it can feel exhausting. Highlighting your child’s interests and allowing them space to regulate when possible is a great way to offset some stress that their routines may cause. Pay attention to what your children are doing, what grades they are getting, what they are working on in class. Show up to the games and the performances, ask how it is going, and lean into what makes your child passionate. Support from parents, no matter how hard things are, is extremely powerful to children.
Helping Your Child Feel Supported at School
School, though designed to support and teach every child equally, can often feel difficult for children who may require extra support and attention in the classroom. As a parent, supporting your child can look like filling in the blanks, addressing the elements of school that do not work for your unique child. Advocating for your child’s needs, listening to their experiences, and taking steps to make the school year as accessible as possible is an incredible way to show up for your child and make sure they are set up for success. Every child is different, but every child deserves a quality education that works for them.