You Don’t Have to Earn Rest: Unpacking Hustle Culture for Women
Girl bosses, listen up! As the cost of living goes up, and the job market becomes more difficult to navigate, it’s only natural that we feel pressure to perform in the workplace. It’s important to work hard, and a hustle-mindset is a valid response to our current environment, but I still feel the need to say this: Rest is not a reward. It’s a physical and psychological necessity, one that you don’t need to earn to deserve.
We exist in a society that glorifies productivity and praises women specifically for being endlessly efficient, endlessly giving, and endlessly “on”. Rest has become something we feel we must justify, something we can get to once we finish our to-do lists. The thing is… the list never ends. There’s always more work to be done, more people to take care of, and more problems to solve.
What is Hustle Culture?
Hustle culture is a mindset and a lifestyle which promotes constant work and ambition. Hustle culture tells us our worth is tied to what we produce. For women—especially those socialized to be caregivers, achievers, or both—this message hits even harder. Many of us learned early on that being “good” meant being useful. That rest and relaxation were indulgent, selfish, or lazy. However, one can’t exist without the other. Burnout is a real thing, and can have significant negative impacts on our ability to be productive. If we really want to put our best foot forward in our career, we must take care of ourselves—-mind, body, and spirit.
The Emotional Weight of Always Doing
This isn’t just about productivity—it’s about identity. If we’ve spent our lives equating rest with failure, slowing down can feel like an impossibility. When you finally take that break, it feels uncomfortable, the silence feels loud, and your mind goes straight to everything you should be doing.
This idea of hustle culture doesn’t just live in our phones and laptops—it exists in our nervous systems. It can look like:
Guilt when you relax
Anxiety when you're not being “useful”
Resentment from constantly giving, but never receiving
Shame around needing help or saying no
Feeling disconnected from joy, creativity, or your body
Many people see these symptoms, and automatically assume they’re coming from within, either as a personal failure, or a moodiness issue. But these aren’t personal flaws. These are symptoms of living within a system that taught you to exhaust yourself for the sake of performance.
You Are Not a Machine
Our life purpose as human beings? No clue. But I’m pretty sure we weren’t put on this planet just to work our butts off. We are here to be human, in whatever ways that shows up for each of us. Being human always includes resting; not just sleep, but true rest. The kind that softens you, restores you, and lets you release the tension of the days prior. Ideally, the kind that doesn’t come with guilt or conditions.
I know that it’s easier said than done. If the world around us was enthusiastic about us getting our rest, we might not struggle to do so. However, going against the grain doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it means you’re breaking a pattern.
What It Looks Like to Reclaim Rest
If you’re feeling inspired to rest without shame, here are some places to begin:
Awareness: Notice when you feel the urge to earn rest. Be curious about what beliefs are underneath that urge. Is something telling you that you haven’t done enough to earn rest today? Whose voice is it? Is it even yours?
Permission: Practice saying things like “I’m allowed to rest” or “I don’t need to finish everything to take care of myself.” These may feel strange at first, and that’s okay.
Boundaries: Start protecting your energy and time. Remind yourself that life isn’t all about work, and think more about what you actually want. That might look like blocking off quiet time to read a book everyone’s been talking about, simply saying no, or leaving a few tasks for another day.
Reconnection: Explore rest that doesn’t come with a productivity focus. A workout disguised as self-care can be rejuvenating, but is it truly restful? Try resting for no reason sometimes.
On Doomscrolling To Relax
Doomscrolling is, hands down, one of the least restful ways we try to relax—and yet, it’s one of the most common forms of “down time” I hear my clients mention. It makes sense: after a long day, zoning out with your phone feels easy and familiar, and stimulates our brains enough to drown out the voices telling us to be more productive. But what starts as a quick scroll often turns into an anxious spiral through bad news, online conflict, and other people’s curated lives. Instead of calming our nervous systems, it keeps us in a low-grade state of stress and comparison. It mimics rest, but rarely gives us the restoration we’re actually craving.
What if we picked up a book, or turned on some music, or did any of the other hobbies that don’t fill our brains with rapid-fire information? It might feel uncomfortable at first, and hard to do without anxious thoughts flooding in, but I promise it’s worth it once you become used to it.
Final Thoughts
Rest isn’t a prize you win at the end of a long, exhausting workday. It’s your birthright. In a world that constantly asks women to do more, give more, and prove more, choosing rest is a radical, healing act.
You don’t need to earn your downtime. You don’t need to check one more box before you listen to your body. And you certainly don’t need to feel guilty for being a human being instead of a productivity robot. So the next time you’re sitting, doom scrolling instead of thinking about all of the things you should be doing, try to take a second of true rest. You might be surprised by how much more yourself you feel on the other side.