Pleasure vs. Purpose: How to Feel More Fulfilled
Why “Happiness” Gets Complicated
The pursuit of happiness is often considered a lifelong journey towards a general state of prolonged contentment and positive affect. In fact, happiness is often how we measure the value of our life. How happy are we currently? How happy has our overall life been? Is a life without happiness a life worth living?
Complex questions, such as those above, require thoughtfulness and nuance in pursuit of their answers. The concept of happiness itself becomes quite complex the more we examine it. Is happiness an emotion, a state of mind that is fleeting and temporary? Or is happiness a state of being, something that remains fairly constant within our personalities and minds?
Pleasure and Purpose: Hedonia vs. Eudaimonia
Within the realm of both psychology and philosophy, this same question has been debated for centuries. Ancient Greek philosophers created entire schools of thought based on the concepts of pleasure and happiness. Pleasure, known as hedonia, represents the emotional state of happiness. Temporary, joyful, and subjective, hedonia is its own distinct form of happiness. Contrast this with eudaimonia, which Aristotle defined as a virtuous, meaningful, and flourishing life. Eudaimonia does not necessarily come with pleasure but is viewed as a deeper, more intentional form of fulfillment based on living life according to your moral virtues.
What We Mean When We Say We Want to Be Happy
When we begin to distinguish between the two, we can begin to wonder how we define happiness in the modern world. We talk about happiness, we crave happiness, and we often attend therapy in pursuit of greater happiness. But when we talk about happiness, are we talking about hedonia or eudaimonia?
When I think about a desire “to be happy” in life, it feels to me as though I am searching for something deeper than the fleeting emotions of happiness from pleasure. It aligns more with the desire for fulfillment, meaning, and purpose, which is exactly what eudaimonia is. And yet, so many of us continue to seek lifelong fulfillment via pleasure. The pleasure of money, the pleasure of romance and sex, and the pleasure of status and prestige. This is not to say these things are worthless and should not be pursued, but only to distinguish between the temporary happiness of pleasure versus the fulfillment achieved by a purposeful and meaningful life.
You Need Both: The Balance of Pleasure and Meaning
Truthfully, both forms of happiness have their place in our lives. After all, what would life be without the small and fleeting pleasures? We are seeking a balance between pursuing the small pleasures in life whilst simultaneously building a strong bedrock of fulfillment based on meaning and purpose.
Finding Purpose Through Your Values
But how do we achieve an overall grounded sense of purpose in our lives? It is not simple. Many people seek meaning through their careers, or their skills and hobbies, or through their relationships. There is no clear answer to what meaning looks like for each individual person, and it is a journey we must all pursue on our own. However, you may be able to catch glimpses of it through your “values system.” In simplest terms, these are the values that you hold and wish to maximize in your life: love, connection, service, independence, security, etc. We can look to values as a guiding compass for the kind of life we want to live and the kind of person we want to be. The more you align your actions with your values, the greater your sense of personal meaning. To live a life aligned with your morals and values is what we define as virtuous and what Aristotle would call eudaimonia.
Take a moment and think about the things that matter to you. Not what other people tell you matters, or what society tells you is important. Think about what drives you forward, what makes you feel alive, what stirs up your spirit and your heart, and what makes you feel like you have a place in this world. These are your values, and once you get to know them, maybe you can begin listening to them.