How to Lessen Anxiety Before Your First Therapy Session
Anxiety Before Therapy: More Normal Than You’d Think!
If you’re reading this, chances are you either have a first therapy session coming up and are panicking, or you can relate to the feeling. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Your therapist is familiar with these feelings as well. It’s perfectly natural to feel uneasy before your first session of therapy. After all, you’ve committed to several anxiety-inducing things at once. For starters, meeting new people is often nerve-wracking and can fill even the most confident person with self-doubt. Besides that, you’re likely planning on discussing something that is negatively impacting your life in some way. Maybe therapy will also be expensive for you, or maybe you belong to a culture in which seeking therapy is considered weak or shameful. Whatever the reason, know that your therapist will not be judging your feelings coming into the session.
How the Therapeutic Relationship Works
One thing that may help reduce your pre-therapy anxiety is knowing that your therapist was likely trained to navigate this exact circumstance! Therapists are taught to focus on building a relationship of trust and rapport above all else in the first few sessions. What does this mean for you? For starters, it means that you have the power to set the pace for the first few sessions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of discussing something painful, you are more than welcome to let your therapist know that you’d like to just simply get to know one another for the first session or two. A good therapist would never pressure you to get into things that you’re not ready to get into.
Practical Tips To Prepare
Knowing all of this, you may still have some feelings of uneasiness about starting this journey. That is completely valid. As such, I’ve prepared some more practical tips as an extra cushion to relieve those giddy or anxious feelings.
Get the Gist
Before you begin, it may be helpful for you to know what to expect. You can ask friends or family what their experiences were like, or even search online. I recommend searching YouTube, where there are plenty of mock therapy sessions available to anyone, which can be used to get a feel for what a therapy session generally entails.
Come Prepared
It can also help to prepare your topics of choice before therapy by writing them down in the time leading up to your first session. Obviously these will be very personal and unique to your situation, but know that your therapist has probably heard it all. No topic is off limits!
Practice Relaxation Techniques
In the days leading up to your session, you may want to try relaxation techniques such as square breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and repeat). Finding ways to slow your heart rate will be very useful, and practicing them before therapy will ensure that when the time comes, you have tools to help you prepare.
Arrive Early
Get to your session 10 minutes early to make sure you have enough time to find parking, locate the office, grab a glass of water, etc. If your appointment is virtual, try logging in a few minutes ahead of time so you can contact your therapist if something goes wrong or if you get confused.
Bring a Comfort Object
Wear loose, comfortable clothing that you can sit comfortably in, and if you’d like to, feel free to bring something that soothes you, like a small blanket, a stuffed animal, or your favorite sweatshirt. Most therapists provide pillows that clients can place on their laps or wrap their arms around, as the presence of soft objects can be immensely grounding and soothing.
Set Realistic Expectations
Therapy is not a magic button that fixes all of your problems. Expect to see changes only after you’ve spent some time and effort in therapy. Depending on what you wish to see happen, you could see results in as little as a few weeks, or it might take months to see changes. Either way, remember that attending therapy is the biggest step toward change.
During Therapy: What Now?
Let’s say you’ve done all the prep and followed the tips, but as soon as you walk into the therapy session, that familiar anxiety creeps back in, feeling like all your efforts just slipped away. It happens! While preparation is definitely helpful to reduce anxiety in this case, there may still be some feelings of anxiety that you just can’t kick until it’s over. That’s why I’ve included yet another list of tips for reducing anxiety during your first session, too.
Remember, This is a Safe Space
Do your best to keep in mind that your therapist is not judging you. Therapists are experts in staying unbiased, and while you may be afraid to sound or appear nervous, they probably won’t think anything of it. I cannot stress enough how normal it is to feel anxious in this setting!
Staying Present
As someone who experiences anxiety, you may be familiar with the feeling of dissociation. In session, if your anxiety starts to pull you “out of it”, try a grounding exercise. A good one to start with is simply placing your feet on the floor and imagining drawing an outline around them in your mind. This short and simple exercise can help to pull your body back into the present, and can keep you focused in session. You can also let your therapist know that you’re starting to feel distracted, and they will likely have plenty of ideas to bring you back to the moment.
Be Curious
You have every right to want to get to know who you will be working with, and should ask any questions you have for your new therapist! Want to know more about their experience or expertise? Want to know their process or views on certain topics? You are always free to ask any questions you may have. Keep in mind your therapist will share whatever they feel comfortable sharing, but if they feel that some information would be unhelpful for you to know, their refusal is done so with you as the client in mind.
Take-Aways
Feeling anxious before your first therapy session is not only natural, it's expected. Remember that your therapist is well-acquainted with these feelings and will help to build a trusting relationship before you need to worry about getting too deep. Preparing for your session by familiarizing yourself with the process, writing down topics you want to discuss, and practicing relaxation techniques can significantly ease your nerves.
Logistical details, like arriving early or bringing a comfort object, can also make a difference in how you feel. It's essential to set realistic expectations; therapy is a journey that takes time, and attending that first session is already a significant step toward change.
During the session, remind yourself that this is a safe space free from judgment. If anxiety creeps in, use grounding techniques or share your feelings with your therapist. Lastly, feel free to ask questions to get to know your therapist better—building this connection can enhance your comfort and engagement in the therapeutic process. Embrace this opportunity for growth; you’re taking a courageous step toward healing.