Growing Around Loss: Understanding the Stages of Trauma Healing
By Tess Brieva, LSW
Healing from trauma isn't about "getting over it,” it's about learning to live with what has happened and grow around it. Trauma leaves a deep imprint on the mind and body, and its effects can ripple through every part of life. Whether stemming from a single event or repeated exposure to distressing experiences, trauma can disrupt our sense of safety, trust, and even our identity.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is one way trauma can manifest. Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, but for those who do, it can bring intense emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms. Flashbacks, nightmares, hyper-vigilance, emotional numbness, and a persistent sense of danger are common. Some people may also experience gastrointestinal issues, chronic pain, or sleep disturbances—signs that trauma doesn't just live in the mind; it lives in the body, too.
Understanding the stages of trauma healing can help individuals make sense of their experience and find hope in the process. Healing is not linear, but it is possible.
Credit: Ralph Site
Types and Responses to Trauma
Not all trauma looks the same. Different types of trauma trigger different responses, and the healing journey will vary from person to person.
Acute Stress Disorder: Occurring shortly after a traumatic event, this condition can look like PTSD but is shorter in duration. Symptoms may include anxiety, dissociation, and intrusive thoughts.
Adjustment Disorders: These are emotional or behavioral reactions to a stressful event, which feel disproportionate to the impact of the event itself. While not as severe as PTSD, they still impact functioning and well-being.
PTSD and Its Stages
The stages of PTSD aren’t fixed or universally experienced, but they can provide a helpful framework for understanding the path toward healing:
Emergency Stage: Right after the trauma, the body and mind are in survival mode. This stage is marked by shock, confusion, and a heightened fight-flight-freeze response.
Denial Stage: Individuals may minimize or dismiss what happened. This stage is often accompanied by numbness or detachment: a way to protect oneself from overwhelming feelings.
Intrusive Stage: Flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts dominate. Triggers may bring the trauma back as if it’s happening in the present.
Transition Stage: Individuals begin to seek understanding and meaning. They may start therapy or look for support, acknowledging that something is wrong but unsure how to proceed.
Long-Term Recovery Stage: Healing becomes integrated into daily life. People learn to recognize triggers, build coping strategies, and rebuild trust and self-worth. This stage often includes periods of regression, but also hope and resilience.
One of the more complex and often misunderstood trauma symptoms is dissociation, which can include experiences like derealization (feeling like the world around you isn’t real) or depersonalization (feeling detached from your body or self). These are the mind’s way of protecting itself when an experience becomes too overwhelming to process. Dissociation can make people feel as though they're watching life through a fog or from outside their body, and while this may be a protective mechanism during trauma, it often continues long after the danger has passed. Many trauma survivors don’t initially recognize dissociation as a symptom, but acknowledging it is a powerful step toward healing, allowing individuals to reclaim a sense of presence and connection.
Credit: SimplyPsychology
The Role of Grief in Trauma
Trauma and grief are deeply intertwined. Whether the trauma involves the loss of a loved one, safety, innocence, or a sense of control, grief is a natural part of the healing process. It is a mourning: not just for what was lost, but for what could have been.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the Five Stages of Grief, and though not everyone experiences these stages in order or with equal intensity, they can be helpful in understanding the emotional landscape of trauma recovery:
Denial: “This can’t be happening.” Denial offers emotional distance from the pain. In trauma, it may show up as disbelief or minimization of the event.
Anger: “Why me?” This stage channels pain into frustration or blame—toward oneself, others, or the world. It's a necessary release of pent-up emotion.
Bargaining: “If only I had done something differently...” Bargaining reflects a desire to regain control, often filled with guilt or what-ifs.
Depression: “Nothing will ever be okay again.” This isn’t clinical depression, necessarily, but a deep sorrow and hopelessness as the reality of loss settles in.
Acceptance: “This happened, and I can carry it.” Acceptance isn’t about being okay with what happened—it’s about integrating it into your life narrative and beginning to move forward.
Grief doesn't end; it changes shape. It may return in waves. But with time and support, the waves become more manageable.
Trauma and PTSD Treatment Options
Healing from trauma is deeply personal, and no one path works for everyone. Fortunately, there are many effective treatment options that support people through the different stages of trauma healing.
Psychotherapeutic Options
Talk Therapy (Psychotherapy): Traditional therapy with a trauma-informed clinician can help individuals process and reframe their experiences in a safe environment. Cognitive therapies like CBT and DBT are often used.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR uses guided eye movements to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.
Internal Family Systems: Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps with trauma processing by fostering compassionate relationships between a person’s inner parts, allowing wounded parts to heal and release burdens in a safe, self-led way.
Somatic Therapy: Somatic therapy, like Somatic Experiencing, supports trauma processing by helping individuals reconnect with their bodies, release stored tension, and safely process emotions through physical sensation and movement.
Pharmaceutical and Innovative Treatments
Medication-Assisted Therapies: Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, or sleep aids may help regulate the nervous system and support therapy work.
Dual Sympathetic Reset (DSR): A newer treatment targeting the autonomic nervous system to reduce hyperarousal and intrusive symptoms.
Ketamine Infusion Therapy: An emerging option for treatment-resistant PTSD and depression. Ketamine can create new neural pathways and offer fast-acting relief when traditional methods haven’t worked.
Conclusion: Growing Around Loss
Trauma changes us. Like a tree growing around a scar in its bark, we can adapt and grow around our wounds. The pain doesn’t disappear, but it becomes part of our story rather than the whole of it. Understanding the stages of trauma healing can help illuminate the path forward. Whether you're deep in the emergency stage or navigating long-term recovery, you are not broken, you are healing. And healing is a process that deserves patience, compassion, and support. If you are seeking a trauma-informed therapist, you can explore Balanced Awakening’s therapists to learn more.