The Transition Nobody Prepares You For: Life After High School and College
Let’s talk about the topic that everyone experiences but neglects to discuss: the difficulty of the transition to life after high school or college.
For the majority of folks, life has been organized around school systems and structures. Everything has felt relatively predictable, regimented, and designed around the primary focus of learning. Then one day, the system you have been a part of for years concludes. This time often brings a mix of emotions, from excitement and freedom to overwhelm and confusion. We and others around us often assume that the independence milestone will naturally arrive at our doorstep the second we receive our diploma. However, similar to the learning done in a math class to finally complete that proof question, an extensive learning process involving trial and error must be done. Naturally, this learning process will be accompanied by uncertainty, self-doubt, and pressure. Therapy can be the supportive force that helps you navigate those bumps along the young adult process.
The Pressure of Suddenly Being an Adult
Many individuals navigating this life change feel as if expectations and responsibilities have rapidly increased overnight. Common topics discussed at depth with my clients include career exploration, moving, influx of payments, balancing responsibilities, and peer comparisons. The trap that almost every individual gets stuck in at this time is the “should trap”. Clients will say, “I should know how to do that by now”, “I should know what I want my career to be after all that school”, or “I should be able to do that—my friend can”. Once the biological clock strikes 18, people tend to hold themselves to unrealistic expectations and standards that they must have it all figured out. With my clients, slowing down and hearing how common this feeling of uncertainty and confusion is cathartic and validating. Life is an endless learning process, and young adulthood is only the beginning of discovering how to most comfortably navigate it.
The Losses That Come With New Beginnings
Graduation is often celebrated as this beginning point, but what many brush over is the involvement in grief of what once was. Young adulthood naturally brings a multitude of changes. For most people, changing a pattern or a lifestyle we were comfortable in will be met with sadness and uncertainty. As stated, these communities, systems, and structures we had identified with for so long feel as if they shifted overnight. Therapy can be a space where we celebrate those accomplishment moments and will also give room for the complications and loneliness felt during times of change.
Why This Stage Often Leads to Anxiety or Self-Doubt
Not surprisingly, during a key stage in life of exploring our identity and important relationships, questions about self and comparisons will skyrocket. Whether subscribing to them or not, literature, television, family history, and social media have created life scripts in which we often feel compelled to follow. This is where many people feel self-doubt and disappointment creep in because their life is moving at a different pace than what they are perceiving around them.
Many young adults assume that uncertainty means they’re doing something wrong. More often, uncertainty is simply part of the human experience. Uncertainty is also crucial during this stage to propel the search for identity of self. Naturally, this time will be accompanied by stress, anxiety, and self-doubt due to ever-growing learning experiences. What therapy can offer is a space to productively experience anxiety or uncertainty in a way that does not feel debilitating. The bottom line: Independence doesn't mean having everything figured out; it can mean becoming more comfortable making choices and learning from them.
Therapy as Prevention, Not Just Crisis Intervention
The world of therapy has turned over a new leaf in which everyone is starting to become more accepting of asking for help. Yet, there is still a strong rhetoric that you have to be at a low point or experiencing a crisis to schedule an initial session. Therapy can also be used for personal growth, self-awareness, relationship skills, coping strategies, and navigating transitions. Let’s face it, transitions are at the core of young adulthood, and every single person will experience growing pains. Therapy can be that supportive space where you are able to slow down and decompress the impacts that stress and transitions are having on you.
And remember, it’s okay and encouraged to find a therapist that feels like a comfortable fit for your goals and personality. We want the best for you too. Exploring therapy outside of crisis intervention can allow for further emphasis on your connection with your therapist. At the core, having a person who hears you, without judgment, and will be a constant is the foundation for a beautiful therapeutic relationship.
So, How Can Therapy Be Helpful in Young Adulthood?
We’ve explored the multitude of reasons why therapy can be a supportive tool while navigating young adulthood. This era of life is filled with change, pressures, trying new things, exploring identity, comparisons, and self-doubt that can feel overwhelming. In therapy, you can release the heavy weight of your stressors and explore the best next steps for you. Everyone’s life journey is different; however, the support from your therapist will remain a constant. Whenever you feel like starting that process, we are here!
If you’re a young adult in Chicago navigating anxiety, identity, relationships, career uncertainty, or a major life transition, therapy can offer a space to slow down, feel supported, and figure out what comes next.